Falling For The Music Never Hurt So Much
by StrawberryPajamas
Summary: Rachel makes a few revelations about herself as she sits on the bleachers after breaking up with Noah Puckerman. Was this what she really wanted? P/R oneshot set in episode Mash-Up.


_A/N: Just a little oneshot I decided to write about my favorite glee couple of all time set after the episode Mash-Up. My first glee one ever, so please be gentle_

_Disclaimer: Don't think I don't see those lawyers hanging over your shoulder, ready to blame me for copywright infringement. NBC's copywright laws prohibit me from claiming ownership anyway, so you can't sue me. Oh, well. Maybe next time._

* * *

Rachel watched Puck's retreating back as he walked away from her, weaving slightly in and out of the metal bleachers of the empty McKinley High football stadium. She looked down at her knees, feeling the cold wind bite at her exposed legs. She had just broken up with him, for perfectly rational reasons, and yet she still felt bad.

A month ago, Rachel wouldn't have dreamt in a million years that she would actually be sitting here, breaking up with Noah Puckerman. Or even that they would actually be dating in the first place. Puck: the hot, football stud who could make a girl swoon with a wink of his cute, brown eye. The guy who could get any girl he wanted: had wanted her.

Rachel crossed her legs and wrapped her sweater tighter around herself, watching Finn and the football players practice. She had told Noah that she didn't want to see him anymore because of Finn, which was true. She had wanted to be with Finn ever since she had first heard him belt out "You're the One That I Want." during his first glee rehearsal. His voice had intoxicated her, making her want more. It wasn't like Puck had a bad voice though. No, not at all. It was just that Finn was... well...

Rachel closed her eyes and slid into a daydream of sorts.

_Her alone, in the music room after hours. She is singing softly to herself "Collide" by Howie Day, one of her favorites. Suddenly she hears someone standing at the door. She looks, and Finn is standing there. He starts singing softly along with her, walking slowly towards her and staring deep into her eyes. They harmonize, and their voices echo across the empty room. They finish on a quavering note, and then slowly fade to silence._

_There would be a pause, where all they would do is stare into each other's eyes._

"_I really like you Rachel," Finn would say quietly. _

_And before they know it, they're kissing._

_Their lips press against each other, his hands sliding down to her hips. She's smiling against him as she lifts her hands and tangles them in his stripe of hair, feeling around it the bristly hairs that was on the rest of his shaved head..._

Wait a minute: that's not right.

Rachel opened her eyes, feeling a tightening in her chest. Why was she still thinking about Puck? Their relationship was over, because he was just a stupid distraction in her pathetic love-life with Finn. If you could even call it a love-life. Just an occasional glance in the hallway between classes and exchanging pleasantries during glee rehearsals. And not to mention their kiss...

Rachel tried remembering exactly what hers and Finn's kiss felt like; how sensual it was exactly. She closed her eyes again, trying to picture it.

_Herself, lying on her bed in her room, kissing someone. She sighs, and look up at him, her eyes full of love._

"_I'm really happy we're doing this," she whispers._

"_Me too," Puck breathes, inches from her lips. She smiles._

"Ugh!" Rachel suddenly burst out, causing some people milling around to stare at her. Embarrassed, Rachel stands up and starts walking toward the school. When she couldn't hear the giggles of her classmates anymore, she began to think.

She was still thinking about Puck. Why? They both wanted other people, right? That's why they broke up: because they couldn't keep kidding themselves anymore. Finn and Quinn were together, and like Noah said, they were never going to break up. Especially with Quinn being pregnant and all. Her relationship with Puck was purely based on fantasy.

And yet...

During that brief time they were together, Rachel saw a side of Noah Puckerman that not many people had probably seen before. She saw him as a basically sweet guy who knew how to take care of a girl. He was a little more experienced than what Rachel was used to, but that didn't matter. She had felt actual intimacy with him, which was a fact she secretly liked. He was kind, and she liked to think he genuinely cared about her.

Rachel stopped at the steps of McKinley High and sat down, burying her head in her arms. She had some major figuring-out to do. Whether or not she still felt something for Finn, or if...

...If she actually had genuine feelings for Noah Puckerman.

As if on cue, Rachel suddenly flashed back to the first time she realized Puck actually was interested in her. It happened right after he handed her that grape slushie:

"_Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to work together on some mash-up ideas."_

_Rachel stood there, frozen in surprise at this odd kindness, "Um... I don't know. Why do you want to?"_

_Puck glanced at his shoes, "I just... I wanted to take some time to get to know you better, that's all. Your a great singer, and I think I could really use your help."_

_Rachel, suddenly thinking this was a trick, had glared at him, glancing suspiciously at her frozen beverage "Wait. Are you just going to dump this slushie on my lyrics sheets then laugh and make a video of it for youtube? Because if that is the only goal you wish to obtain for me agreeing with you to go practice together, then I'm sorry to disappoint you of any other hilarious pranks you wish to pull on me..."_

"_Woah," Puck said, holding up a hand to quiet her down, which she did. "This isn't a joke, it's just a jam session. Unless you want it to be something else." Puck suddenly pulled a small, self-satisfied smirk and leaned against her locker cockily._

_Rachel merely stared at him, then pulled her books out, slamming the locker door shut. "I'll see you after school, then." she said, her chin held defiantly in place. "for our _jam session_"_

_She whirled around and headed off in the other direction for Algebra, feeling his eyes on her as she walked away. _

That moment, for some strange reason, was when Puck had left her life and Noah had entered. Puck was the cocky, narcissitic football player who only liked girls if they were physically stacked, cougers with above-ground pools, or Jewish. But Noah... he was the boy who could capture a girl's heart with his charming smile and gorgeous tenor voice...

Rachel sighed as she pulled her head out of her arms and realized, with dispirit, that she had just made a huge mistake.

***

**The Next Day**

"Hey"

Rachel stood at her locker and looked over at who was talking to her. It was Puck.

And he was holding a grape slushie.

Rachel glanced at the drink in his hand, and looked up into his eyes. She felt her heartbeat skip as she opened her mouth to explain.

"Noah, I..."

"Don't," he interrupted, and he handed her the slushie. Rachel looked at him with surprise, then slowly took it from him.

Noah sighed, looking down and rubbing the back of his shaven head, "I know I mentioned we weren't friends before, but I don't want it to be that way again..." he looked directly at her.

Rachel felt her lip tremble ever so slightly as she looked away from him and look down at her slushie: her peace offering from Noah.

"And you were right." he went on, making Rachel look up, confused.

Noah gave her a small smile, "I wasn't really going to break up with you."

Rachel opened her mouth again, but he had turned around and walked away, toward his next class. Rachel watched him leave with a heavy heart, and she looked down at her drink.

Yes, she had definitely made the wrong choice. But, like the strong woman she aspired to be, she was going to live with it... she hoped.

* * *

_So please review and tell me what you think!! I know it's a little sad, but just know that I want P/R together more than any other tv couple. Just so you don't think I like breaking people up for the heck of it..._


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